Social media is covered in pictures of my friends and their children in their Easter outfits. Pastels take over, and we shed the heavy clothes of winter as we put away our fleece-lined leggings and wool sweaters. This year, however, has been…somewhat different. I haven’t left my house in three weeks, with the exception of emergency grocery trips. I haven’t gone to work, I haven’t had to pick my child up from school, and I haven’t been out to eat, not even for my anniversary.
My wardrobe has suffered. There are no Easter outfits. Normal Spring fashion has taken a hit. This year, it’s all about Quarantine 2020 Fashion.
BEST OF Isolation-Wear
Isolation-wear is all about being cozy while we stare at the walls of our house while trying not to lose our minds from the endless monotony. When you’re lying on the floor in the fetal position, wondering if you’ll ever get to go back to your job again, you don’t want to be wearing cropped skinny jeans.
While chasing your child through the backyard screaming at him that he really has to do something school-related today, heels are not your best option. The hottest looks for Quarantine 2020 are not only comfortable, but also very affordable, which is good because the world is on fire, and you’re broke from not working.
In a Jam?
For starters, let’s talk jammies. I am personally obsessed with a certain type of pajama pants; in fact, I live in them now. You know those t-shirts you still have from high school and college, that you saved for sentimental reasons, that are so old and threadbare that they have obvious holes….but you don’t care because they are so damn comfortable?
That’s what good pajama pants should feel like. They should be loose, and light, and for the love of all things, they should have an elastic waistband. These pants will be your “apocalypse uniform,” per se. No need to change clothes at all really, as you transition from your bed to the couch and back to your bed again.
When you really must leave the house (as those Doritos aren’t going to replace themselves), then I suggest you put forth a minimum of effort by changing from your pajama pants to your leggings. I’ve never understood those that say “leggings are not pants.” In my household, they most definitely are pants. I particularly love the really soft ones, and bonus points if they have pockets.
Pockets are like anxiety meds; I may not even need them today but it makes me feel better to know they’re available. That way, when you run into someone you know at the store, you can at least hold your head high knowing that you could have worn your pajama bottoms, but you didn’t. Quarantine 2020 is all about little successes.
Q-SPRING’S Most Versatile Accessory
2020’s most versatile wardrobe accessory is not jewelry, shoes or even a hat; it is the facemask. There is a shortage for medical workers, so don’t be a dick and buy up the N95s. For the purposes of slowing or stopping the passage of germs while making an emergency toilet paper run, a simple homemade cloth mask will do.
Some are making them with cute colors and patterns. Others, like myself, watched a YouTube video on how to make one out of an old t-shirt. I will be honest, as I exited my car to go into the store I felt very much like an extra in a Western, or someone who might possibly be armed and dangerous. I got over it, though, because everyone else in the store also had on a mask.
One woman even stopped me to compliment my mask and ask where I got it. From six feet away, I yelled through my mask that I made it myself! I was pretty proud. I had a Zorro vibe going and I was feeling myself.
The Question of Bras
Now, the question every woman has pondered the last couple of weeks in isolation; “How will we manage to go back to wearing real bras (or any bras at all) when this is over?” Ladies, I’m not going to sugarcoat this… I don’t know. It will be difficult, and we will all have to lean on each other.
One bright spot is that these days, they make some super comfortable bras that still allow you to leave the house without worrying what your mama would say about your nipples showing–even though, quite frankly, maybe we middle-aged women shouldn’t still be asking ourselves, “What would my mama say?” These wonderful bras feel light and comfortable and even manage to hold your breasts close enough to your body.
The best part of this closeness is you no longer have to worry about them swinging wildly about like a possessed tetherball, and possibly taking out the poor bastard who just happened to pass too close as you reached for your kid’s favorite sugar-coated cereal.
Hot PairINGS with Leggings
What should you pair with your leggings, you ask? Large things. Baggy things. Because your Quarantine 2020 diet has not been good to you, and that’s okay! We’ll all bounce back, and exactly no one stress-eats broccoli or grapes. But for now, skin tight baby tees are probably not going to do you any favors.
If there was ever a time when we could legitimately bring back the muumuu, now is it. I’m all for it.
Q-SPRING KIDS WEAR
As for children, if you have any and they’ll let you dress them, the dress code is basically the same with one caveat: mud. We have had so much rain already this year that I have, on several occasions, considered whether or not we should attempt to build an ark. My back yard has never fully dried out, and since my child is no longer in school, we spend a LOT of time in the backyard.
My son is drawn to a mud puddle like a moth to a flame, or myself to a Wendy’s cheeseburger. He has radar. It takes him less than three seconds to get to the muddiest, wettest patch of yard on our property. It’s impressive to watch, to be honest. I keep wondering if there is somehow a marketable skill there. So, as much as I love to typically dress him in adorable ripped up jeans and vintage band tees, or preppy little JCrew khakis and Polo shirts, it is all play clothes, all the time this spring.
Every once in a while, I’ll put him in something cute and snap a pic for the ‘gram (DEAR LORD I AM SO BORED), but then he immediately goes back into his pjs or “soft pants,” as he likes to call them.
Bill Cunningham once famously said, “Fashion is the armour to survive the reality of everyday life.” Well, Bill, I may look like something the cat dragged in, but reality is a pandemic. These divinely comfortable, but considerably unfashionable, pajamas are the only things helping me survive it.